


In Time

by Hikikomori_Ho (orphan_account)



Series: Hush, it'll be okay in time. [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Bottom Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Eyes, Light Angst, M/M, Sad, Smut, Top Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Trauma, it's not my fic if there's no sadness!, this is mostly smut!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-25 23:04:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20033827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Hikikomori_Ho
Summary: some scars remain with you for life.





	In Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello anniyeong ^^ 
> 
> This is part 2 ( mostly smut ) of ‘ Hush ‘  
the story ended when Hoseok said he was ready to sleep with Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo took him to the bedroom, asked if he could undress him and afterward couldn’t control his tears when he saw how scarred the younger’s skin was.
> 
> I should remind you that in this story, Hoseok is a tiny smol boy. 22, while Hyunwoo is 37. He’s a natural blonde with uneven eyes. One honey brown and the other blue.
> 
> and now let’s get to it. i hope you enjoy reading ‘ In Time ‘ ^^
> 
> ps. this isn't proofread!  
ps2. you can follow me on IG ( it's solely for my fics. ) ^ ω ^  
[@hikikomori_ho](https://www.instagram.com/hikikomori_ho/)

Hoseok was sleeping in his arms soundly. His blonde hair spread on his bicep and his face pressed against hyunwoo’s bare chest. the soft lips were slightly parted, in contact with his skin while the hot exhales tickled him in the most pleasant way. hoseok’s arms were trapped between their bodies, crossed at the wrists, and one of his legs resting over hyunwoo’s hips.

Wrapping his arms tighter around the fragile boy and pulling him closer to himself gently, he thought about the events of the night before.

When hyunwoo took off the giant hoodie from hoseok’s body, despite knowing there would be scars, he hadn’t expected there to be such angry ones covering the pale skin nearly all over.

the younger’s wrists were a war zone, coming up halfway to his elbows and then the skin was clear and soft the rest of the way to his shoulders. his chest and stomach were mostly clear too, apart from the long, thin white lines that hyunwoo didn’t know the cause of and didn’t dare ask. he kissed them all. one by one, he traced over them with his lips and tongue, wanting to show hoseok that the scars on his skin didn’t make him any less loveable. he had wanted to be strong, to always be the shoulder the younger could lean on, but the moment he saw how the delicate boy of such a young age has been abused he broke into silent tears but didn’t stop what he was doing.

hoseok didn’t move, he didn’t say anything either. he just sat there, silently watching hyunwoo with tear-filled eyes while abusing his bottom lip.

He saw it. how the skin of the beautiful lip cracked under the pressure of the younger’s teeth as he looked down at him. hyunwoo didn’t waste any time, leaning forward and kissing those kissable lips ever so gently, sucking on the soft bottom lip and tasting iron.

“ i love you. “ he said once he let go and leaned back just a centimeter, enough to be able to look into those mesmerizing eyes.

as soon as the words left his mouth, a tear rolled down on hoseok’s face. his lips trembled and his eyebrows went upward the way they did when he cried silently. even now there was not a single sound coming from him with how hard he was biting on his lip again.

the younger nodded a second after slowly, not letting any more tears to fall down and getting his beautiful eyes covered by a thick layer of salty water.

hyunwoo’s heart was aching so bad in his chest. he wanted to build a time-travel machine, travel back in time, and rescue the poor boy from the labor house he had been dumped at as a kid. sadly, he couldn’t.

he brought his hand up, cupped the smooth cheek as he caressed over the skin with his thumb in a barely-there touch.

“ it’s okay to cry, baby. you don’t need to hold it back. you can cry as much as you want and as loud as you want. it’ll help you feel a bit better afterward. “ he said in a quiet voice, his own tears drying on his face now that he was focused on hoseok’s.

as if on cue, a sob escaped the blond boy’s mouth as a waterfall started running down his face. hyunwoo didn’t miss a second before embracing him tightly, getting up on his knees to be able to be closer.

hoseok’s arms circled around his waist, hands desperately trying to hold onto him as he hid his head in the crook of hyunwoo’s neck.

his sobs were still silent but his shoulder was soaking wet and the small body was shaking like crazy in his arms. the younger’s body had become insanely cold.

“ shhhhh, it’s okay now. you’re safe. i’m gonna protect you forever. “ he said, caressing over the silky hair with one hand and struggling to pull at the blanket with the other. once he was successful, he wrapped it around the boy the best he could while the latter refused to let go, arms getting tighter around him as his shoulders trembled nonstop.

hoseok’s breathing pattern started becoming uneven, he was hyperventilating. not wanting the younger to have an episode, he cupped his face and made him come out of his hiding place.

“ hoseok, baby look at me. “ he had to lower his head a bit to catch the beautiful uneven eyes since the younger’s gaze was unfocused.

“ you’re safe now. “ he repeated, knowing it was something that could calm him down. something that they had to thank dr. Im for. he had somehow made the sentence into something that likely hypnotized the younger to calm down.

“ breather with me. “ he said and started breathing in and out the way he had been taught by the doctor, waiting for hoseok to follow.

it took around a minute before the blonde boy’s eyes finally focused on him and started to copy his breathing patters. it always took some time to fully relax him, usually ending up in him wanting to sleep due to the rush of adrenaline.

“ do you wanna get some sleep? “ he said after the younger’s breathing gained a steady rhythm. “ we can stop for now. “

there was so much sadness in those glistening eyes that he was doing his best not to give up and look away. it was too painful to witness.

“ is that..okay? “ the boy’s voice was nothing but a whisper, probably couldn’t make more sound after such intense crying for long minutes.

“ of course baby! “ he replied in a beat, brushing the blonde hair out of his lover’s face.

wrapping his arms around the slim waist, he easily slid hoseok up over the mattress until he could rest his head on the pillow.

“ i’m sorry.. “ he heard the other say quietly, without looking at him as if he was ashamed, fumbling endlessly with his fingers.

he had been moving to lie down next to the younger when he heard him say that. instead of lying down, he propped himself up on his elbow, his hand cupping the soft face again.

“ you don’t have anything to apologize for hoseok. you don’t need to be sorry for not wanting to have sex. “ he kept the eye contact for a few seconds longer to make sure the other understood. once he received a nod, accompanied by the hand that wrapped around his wrist on the pale face, he let his body hit the mattress.

hoseok moved close slowly until their bodies were pushed against each other, their upper bodies naked and touching.

the younger leaned forward until his lips were brushing over hyunwoo’s, pressing them at his in a closed-mouth kiss.

“ i love you, too. “ the younger said once he laid his head on his chest, arm circled around his waist.

and that’s how things ended up with the gorgeous boy sleeping peacefully in his arms. hyunwoo was thankful that the usual nightmares didn’t hunt him down the night before.

days passed smoothly. nothing big happened which was good in hoseok’s case. changes scared the hell out of him more times than not, so steady equaled perfect in their dictionary.

they had a great friday night, spending it in a Drive-in cinema and having a delicious meal they had ordered from their favorite place once they got home.

“ i hate pickles. “ hoseok almost vomited when he chewed on one by accident.

“ you like pickle rick though! “ hyunwoo teased him as he chewed soundly on his own pickle.

“ pickle rick is funny! real-life pickle is a nightmare! “ the younger made a disgusted face as he slapped the pickle away from his hand.

laughing out loud at the sudden action, high-key dying inside because of how much hoseok had improved in casual communication skills, he took another pickle and grinned.

“ if you eat this, i will buy you those ugly sneakers you wanted the other day. “ the sneakers were in all honestly too ugly to even look at but for some reason, the boy had insisted he liked them the most. hyunwoo had ended up buying him two pairs by his own choice and ignoring the whining of the younger altogether.

hoseok didn’t even need to think about it before pursing his lips hard and shaking his head, humming a ‘ uh-uh ‘

“ come on! just one bite! “ he grinned wider, standing up and leaning forward, getting the pickle closer to the younger’s lips.

“ noooo! “ the blonde semi-screamed once the pickle touched his lips and ran out of the kitchen, hyunwoo laughing his ass off and following him with the pickle in hand.

“ the pickle is waiting for you to eat it. it’ll be sad if you don’t. “ he said playfully as they ran all over the house, hoseok trying his best to escape from his hands whenever he got hold of his hoodie. he was indeed going easy on the boy. if he had really wanted to get him, he could’ve done it the first second.

“ stop! stop! i can’t breathe, “ the blonde said, bending in half and panting roughly, coughing a few times, his hands on his knees.

“ poor baby. do you hate it that much?! “ he chuckled again before walking to the kitchen, abandoning his torture object and coming back to the living room with a glass of water.

“ here baby, drink this. “ he watched the younger gulp down the water as his hand rubbed over his back gently.

“ you were being mean! “ hoseok’s pout was so extra, he couldn’t help bursting out again.

taking the pouty lips between his index finger and thumb, he pressed the flexible lips together. “ sorry not sorry “ he laughed again before letting go of the younger and pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead.

the younger received the kiss willingly, closing his eyes and humming. when hyunwoo leaned back and looked down into those eyes, there was something behind them he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“ can i take a shower now? “ the blonde said hesitantly.

“ i told you before, you don’t need to ask. “

“ is it okay if i take a longer shower? “

“ it’s okay whenever, however and for how long you wanna take your showers, hoseok. it’s all perfectly fine. “

the younger smiled so brightly, standing on his tip-toes and placing a kiss on hyunwoo’s cheek before running to the bathroom. he knew even asking such things took a lot of courage for the boy but he wished he didn’t feel the need to ask these things, at least with him. but all truth be told, he had improved a lot and was still improving. better days would most definitely come.

Hoseok’s ‘ longer shower ‘ turned out to be a little more than 20 minutes. which was still pretty quick in case of most people.

hyunwoo was sitting on the bed, his back leaning against the headrest while reading a book and waiting for his lover to come back.

he heard steps before he saw him at the doorframe. hair wet with water drops falling down, the white fluffy towel robe wrapped around his body, covering all of him to his ankles.

usually, he would go straight into his own bedroom, changing into clothes before appearing in front of hyunwoo’s eyes but tonight, after having stood by the doorframe for a few seconds, he started walking toward the bed.

“ you smell delicious. “ he said once the younger was close enough to fill his nostrils with the fresh scent of his body.

“ it’s the shampoo and the body gel. “ the blonde stated shyly and sat on the edge of the bed, right next to him.

he looked really nervous, a hue of pink covering his cheeks and the tips of his ears as he didn’t look up to meet hyunwoo’s eyes. his fingers fumbling with the mattress.

seeing all this and knowing something wasn’t right, he closed his book and placed it on the nightstand. crawling closer and stopping when their upper bodies were barely away from each other, he made the younger look up with his index finger under his chin.

“ what is it baby? “ he asked, eyes jumping from one feature on the latter’s face to the other.

“ hyunwoo…” there was a pause followed by a lip bite, displaying insecurity.

he hummed and rubbed his thumb on the younger’s chin for reassurance.

“ i…i cleaned up. will you, um.. can we..can you-“ by now, he knew what was going on and wanted to squeak in excitement but decided to wait for hoseok to say it out loud completely. he had to do it, he had to say it for it to become normal to him over time.

“ can i what hoseokie? “ he asked to encourage him with a smile.

“ can we continue what we had to stop the other night? “ the younger pulled his lips inside his mouth right after, seeming really extremely shy with how red his cheeks had become.

“ with pleasure. “ he said smiling from ear to ear and pecking the curved lips once. “ just give me five minutes to shower as well. “

before he even got out of bed, a hand on his bicep stopped him. turning back he saw hoseok, looking at him with confusion.

“ but you’re good! “

“ i’ve been running around the whole day baby! if we’re going to have sex, i have to be clean and fresh for you as well. “ he couldn’t help the way his heart clenched at the sight of the boy in front of him. he wasn’t even used to simple things like this. no one had ever made the effort to do anything for him in the past, just taking pieces of him shamelessly.

showing quickly, hyunwoo wrapped a towel around his waist, just like he always did, and walked to his bedroom. he found hoseok covered by the blanket to his chest but by the looks of it he was still wearing the bathrobe. which meant he still wanted it.

“ are you sure about this? we can also not do it if you’re not feeling like it anymore. “ he asked just to be sure as he walked to the bed and stopped by hoseok’s side.

“ i’m sure. “ the younger bit on his lip as he looked up at him. “ i want you hyunwoo. my body’s being really weird lately. “

he sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed the damp hair away from the blonde’s forehead, revealing his super cute eyebrows and the nice forehead that was always hidden behind the hair. hoseok was beautiful, ethereal, on a daily basis but with his hair up he became extremely hot.

“ weird how? “ he asked calmly, fingers tangled in the silky hair and playing with the strands.

“ it just..reacts when i think about you..i told you, this never happened to me before. i never…got hard before..” hoseok wrapped fingers of both hands around hyunwoo’s wrist that was in his hair, pulled it down against his lips and pressed a long-lasting kiss on his palm, eyes closed.

looking at how precious the boy was with a fund smile on his face, he waited until the eyes focused on him again. the blonde opened his eyes but didn’t stop brushing his lips against his palm, occasionally pressing kisses on his skin.

“ are you hard right now? “ he asked softly, breaths slow.

“ …yes, “ the younger looked down at himself, though he was covered by the blanket. “ it reacted to the thought of you.. this is so embarrassing, “ hoseok let go of his wrist and covered his face with his palms instead, groaning quietly against them.

“ hey! why is it embarrassing!? “ he said, removing the hands from the gorgeous face. “ it’s body’s anatomy hoseokie! there’s nothing embarrassing to it at all. i get hard to the thought of you all the time as well and i’m quite past the age for that! “ his thumb never stopped caressing the smooth cheeks.

“ you react..to the thought of _me?! _“ the way the other’s eyes widened comically was hilarious. but he didn’t laugh. remaining serious but gentle, he hummed.

“ of course i do. i love you with all my heart and you’re really attractive. you’re a wet dream hoseok! “

“ but…but! “ the eyes remained widened as hoseok shifted, sitting up on his bent knees and crawling closer to him in the process. the blanket had moved away from the latter’s body altogether.

“ why haven’t you taken me until now if you’ve become hard? i was always right in your reach. “

“ hoseok…” hyunwoo couldn’t help the bitter taste that gathered in his mouth at what the other’s words were implying. he was seriously questioning why he hadn’t fucked him yet even though he was right there for him to take whenever he desired. like he was as much of an asshole as his past owner and those fucking clients. it pissed him off quite a bit but he suppressed the anger because the younger wasn’t at fault here. it was just what he was used to, what he had grown up in.

“ true that i’ve become hard thinking of you, but i could never force myself on you, knowing you didn’t wanna be touched that way. it’s the same way with how i wanted to kiss and hug you since long before you allowed me to. “ he paused and took both of the younger’s hands in his, squeezing them and never letting go of the eye contact. “ i’ll never do anything you’re not comfortable with baby. ever. “ he whispered against the curved lips after having leaned in.

it was hoseok who closed the distance between them, starting the kiss that became more heated by the second. he had become a professional at kissing over the past few weeks, currently taking hyunwoo’s breath away with how skilfully he moved his tongue around in his mouth, playing with his, nibbling and sucking on his lips or tongue in succession in between. he let himself moan, not restraining it and showing the younger he was making him feel good. at the sound, hoseok’s hands trembled a bit where he was still holding them in his on the little space between them on the mattress.

hyunwoo leaned forward, shifting both of them and pushing his gorgeous boy down gently with his hand on the robe-covered chest until he was lying down comfortably with his head on the pillow, he himself hovering over the delicate body. their lips never separated.

hoseok was extremely hesitant in wrapping his arms around hyunwoo’s neck, doing it in small movements where he first held onto his arms and slowly slid his hands over to his shoulder and finally circled them loosely around his neck.

the towel around his waist was getting on his nerves the more turned on he got. it was pulling and restraining him from moving the way he wanted.

“ hoseokie, can i take off my towel? “ he asked in between the slow but deep and desperate kisses as he opened his eyes to see the younger’s expression. he didn’t wanna scare him with anything.

the blue and brown eyes opened a second later, looking even more beautiful than they already were from where he was staring at them so closely.

“ yes “ was the breathy reply he got but the arms around his neck didn’t let go of him. adapting to their position, he rested his weight on one hand and unwrapped the towel from his waist, throwing it to the floor, with the other and becoming completely naked. hoseok didn’t look down at all, only focusing on his face the few moments he had his eyes opened.

after he was free from the material, he went back to capture the delicious curved lips again, catching the bottom one between his teeth and nibbling on it gently. a rough exhale passed the parted lips as the younger’s head moved back, making his lip stretch and displaying that elegant neck of his. the neck he had wanted to kiss and suck on so bad until now.

letting go of the soft red lip, hyunwoo placed wet kisses on his jaw, tracing the curve of his neck with the tip of his tongue, and then nibbled on his earlobe. hoseok was biting on his lip so hard with eyes squeezed shut as his arms tightened around his neck subconsciously, body shifting just a tiny bit under him.

“ hoseok, “ he called to get his attention first. caressing the side of his face with the back of his hand, he waited until the eyes looked at him. “ let go baby. i won’t hurt you, i promise. don’t keep yourself from moaning. you can be as loud as you want. i wanna hear your beautiful voice showing me how good you’re feeling. “ staring into the uneven eyes and keeping the eye contact, he let his hand travel down on the slim body over the robe slowly, until he stopped once his hand was on the towel-covered erection of the blonde.

the second he touched him, hoseok’s body jerked and his eyes widened with a flash of fear.

“ shhh, it’s okay. tell me if i do something you don’t like or if i accidentally hurt you, okay? i won’t get mad. you can tell me when you don’t like something and i’ll stop, hm? “ he whispered into the boy’s face since they were so close, his breath hitting the other’s wet lips.

the latter blinked a few times, gathering himself, and nodded, visibly relaxing his posture a bit. he wanted to tell him to reply with words but figured they’d take one step at a time.

little by little, he let his hand go under the towel as he observed the younger’s face, kissing him passionately with open eyes and not losing the sight of the blue and brown looking back at him warily.

his fingers brushed over the sensitive skin of his boyfriend’s erection before he rubbed over the whole length smoothly. he wanted to see the younger let go and moan.

hoseok’s breathing sped up as he deepened the kiss and shut his eyes tightly, probably to silence himself again. hyunwoo leaned back a few centimeters, thumb spreading pre-cum over the tip of his erection and curling his fingers around it. with a stroke, hoseok finally moaned, loud, long and clear right into his face. the beautiful eyes widened right after, hands untangling from his neck and covering his mouth in fear. it was heartbreaking to see, all of it happened in fast seconds.

taking his hand out of the robe, he removed the pale ones from the younger’s face and placed them around his neck again. “ you sound beautiful, sexy and so hot. let me hear more of it please. “

the look on the pale ethereal face, how vulnerable he looked and the way tears gathered in his eyes was so overwhelming.

hoseok didn’t say anything, but he tightened his arms around him again, leading him down as he lifted his head from the pillow to catch hyunwoo’s lips in the best kiss he had ever experienced in his entire life. the emotions were on overdrive. he could feel how the younger was pouring all of himself into it and whimpering in return when hyunwoo showed his heart with just as much intensity.

the robe fell down from the blonde’s shoulders, its belt loosened from moving, and soon it flew down to reveal his chest. sitting up, he pulled the younger over his lap as they continued to kiss.

“ can i take off your robe? “ he asked, fingers massaging the other’s scalp and the other hand roaming over his back.

biting his lip and looking back and forth between his eyes, hoseok let go of him and untied the belt on his own, taking the robe off ever so slowly while no longer looking at him. the material slid down the pale arms and revealed the flat stomach. the younger got up on his knees as he set himself free from the towel completely, hesitantly. hyunwoo was quick to take it from his hand and throw it somewhere behind them on the floor as well. he wrapped his arms around the slim waist, pulling him closer and making him sit on his lap again. he had seen it that night, the younger’s back and how bruised it was. traces of whip cuts visible on the soft skin in a fading red and making it rough at those spots. he could even feel them with his palms as he caressed him up and down.

hoseok was shaking a bit, his body hot but doubt and trauma coming after him nevertheless.

he laid the boy down on the soft mattress again, as he started kissing his body all over. Hyunwoo started from his face. placing kisses on his forehead, temples, eyes, cheeks, the tip of his nose and finally his lips again.

before he’d move down, he kissed the blue eye again, touch remaining longer this time.

“ don’t close your eyes. i want you to watch me worship your beautiful body and see how much i love every part of it. “ he whispered once he leaned back. the blonde licked over his lips and blinked back his tears that had just started gathering once again.

Hyunwoo then got to it. starting from his neck, he took his sweet time in tasting every single inch of it and taking notes on the spots where the younger was most sensitive. hoseok still didn’t let many sounds escape but a few times, when he had found a jackpot - a sensitive patch of skin that he nibbled on teasingly, the younger would moan, sound breathy and like music to his ears.

he licked over the cute earlobe, rubbing his nose over the delicious smelling silky hair and inhaling the refreshing scent, he let his hands caress the blonde’s body gently. his fingertips would travel over his sides in a barely-there touch, knowing that it would feel good and like tiny shocks. when his fingers brushed over a nipple, a beautiful gasp left the boy’s mouth.

smiling, he traveled down and closed his lips around the bud, rubbing his tongue over it and teasing it with his teeth. hoseok moaned again, louder this time as his fingers traveled through hyunwoo’s hair and actually pulling at them. it made him unexpectedly happy.

after giving the left nipple enough attention, he kissed his way to the right one. but as soon as his tongue ran over the bud, before he got to close his lips around it, there was a hiss and a harsh tug on his hair.

he stopped immediately, seeing signs of pain on the younger’s face as his eyebrows were furrowed slightly.

“ did it hurt? “ he asked worriedly as there was nothing he had done that could’ve been painful.

“ it - ..it was pierced before.. they used it to punish me sometimes.. “hoseok’ voice was shaky as he said it, showing his emotional state.

he sighed deeply, brushing the blonde hair away from the perfect face and running his thumb over the curved lips once.

“ i’ll be careful not to touch it from now on. but we should see a doctor about this soon. “

his boyfriend nodded without hesitation and tugged at his hair again, pulling him close to his chest. he obliged gladly, resuming his actions of worshiping him. he continued his kisses downward on the flat stomach, fingertips running over the spaces between his ribs until he was finally so close to the younger’s groin.

he hadn't really looked down at him until that moment, not wanting to make his boy uncomfortable. but now that he was, he figured that even hoseok’s erection was beautiful. no wonder that bastard had been so obsessed with him. there was literally no flaws when it came to this boy.

as much as he wanted to close his lips around him and just push his finger inside already, he knew to be patient, to give as much pleasure as was humanly possible to the gorgeous person under him.

so, placing a quick kiss on the tip of his erection and getting a bit of pre-cum on his lips, he tilted his head toward his right thigh. the sight got him frozen on spot. there were the same traces of whip cuts visible all over his inner thighs, continuing to the back and all over his butt cheeks. letting his eyes wander and gently shifting the pale legs a bit, he inspected the rest of him. his ankles had some faint marks around them, nothing close to the way they were around his wrist but still there and the rest of him up to his knees were almost clear. it didn’t lessen his rage though. those scars on his thighs were crazy.

burring his head on the younger’s stomach and wrapping his fingers around the thin thighs, he groaned, sound muffled by the latter’s body. he wanted to curse so back, to shout it all out and to go kill those bastards one by one in the slowest most painful ways possible while making them beg for their lives.

“ hyunwoo..” fingers brushed over his hair as he heard his name being called so musically.

“ yes baby “ he looked up, resting his chin on the younger’s stomach.

“ i don’t want my scars to stop you from doing what you..what we both want tonight. the more you touch me on the places i have them, the more memories come back to my mind and it hurts. please just.. just take me already. you said it’ll feel good. just make me feel so good that i won’t be able to think about those things anymore. i feel like i will have the worst break down if we stop now. my thoughts are really scary right now hyunwoo.. “

the words sank into his heart. crawling up, he captured the beautiful lips, kissing him slowly at first. wanting to distract both of them from the terrifying thoughts, he wrapped his hand around both of their erections, pressing the lengths together, as he stroked them with just the right amount of pressure. a few minutes passed until their breathing sped up again, hoseok started moaning into his mouth, the few tears that had run down his temples now drying up as the pleasure spiked up. hyunwoo bit down on the spot between his neck and shoulder gently, earning himself a needy moan as the blonde arched his back and tilted his head to the opposite side to give him more access. he accepted it as an invitation and quite frankly ravished that long neck the way he really wanted as his hand never stopped. hickeys appeared on the pale skin all over. hoseok’s fingers tugging at his hair and his body trembling under his touch. the beautiful voice filling the otherwise silence of the room. he had his eyes closed, his face resembling pure bliss with his lips parted in many gasps.

“ i feel weird hyunwoo. it’s so hot inside. “ his boyfriend said in a cry, body unable to stay still. he knew weird and hot inside meant the younger was close to orgasm. just that the poor boy had never experienced one to know how it felt.

“ do you wanna cum like this? or do you want me to stop and get to preparing you? whichever you choose will be okay. “ he asked as he slowed down his pace.

the latter shook his head, lips pulled inside his mouth and eyes shut tightly. “ i want you- “ a moan interrupted him. “ i wanna know why they always feel so good in the movies. “

that was his cue to stop. the moment he let go of their erections, hoseok’s body thrust up on its own to create the lost friction as a whimpered left the curved lips.

placing a quick kiss on his cheek, hyunwoo crawled over to the nightstand and got the bottle of lube. the younger’s eyes followed him intently, a deep blush covering his cheeks, his neck and all the way down to his chest. he had closed his legs, knees bent to cover his private parts.

he moved back to where he was, dropping the bottle on the mattress, as he wrapped his fingers around the pale thighs and spread them slowly, waiting for his lover to stop him if he wanted. but hoseok only brought his hand to his face, biting down on his index finger nervously.

while the legs were spread enough, he settled between them and lubed three of his fingers up.

“ i’m gonna take care of you, hoseokkie. you just need to relax and let go, okay? and don’t forget to tell me if anything hurt. “

the latter nodded without hesitance while still chewing on his finger and staring at him with widened blue and brown eyes.

placing an affectionate kiss on his inner thigh, hyunwoo leaned down and wrapped his fingers around hoseok’s erection. looking up at the ethereal face, he closed his lips around the tip, sucking as he hollowed his cheeks, his tongue drawing circles over it.

it was a sight to see. the blonde boy completely lost it as he moaned the loudest he had by far, his head thrown back and back in a deep arch. his hands were fisting on the mattress with so much force that his knuckles turned white.

he didn’t stop there. the goal was to distract him from when he would be entering him with his finger and he wasn’t quite there yet.

humming at the way the sight and his lover’s taste satisfied him, he moved further down until he had him completely inside his mouth.

“ ah fuck, hyunwoo “ his name was called in a scream as fingers fisted on his hair, the boy propping up on his elbow and watching him closely. their eyes met and he winked at him with the erection still in his mouth before he started bobbing his head, tongue rolling over the tip whenever he came up. the blonde grew limp, body falling on the mattress and eyes rolling back into his scalp as he just let go and moaned continuously at the top of his lungs. now was a good time.

rubbing his fingers together to warm up the lube, he brought his hand close and circled his middle finger around the younger’s entrance. his plans hadn’t been successful because as soon as he came in contact with the ring of muscle, hoseok’s body froze and he just stayed still like his soul has left his body.

“ relax, it’s alright. i’m gonna prepare you first before we go to the next step. “ he kissed his inner thigh a few times until he felt the tense body relax a bit but not completely.

“ do you wanna stop? “ he asked for the millionth time to make sure he still wanted it.

he received a hesitant shake of head as a shiver ran through the younger’s body.

“ it won’t hurt the way you think it will. it’ll only take a short while till you get used to the feeling and then you’ll feel an insane amount of pleasure. i promise you. but you need to relax your body for that. “

hoseok relaxed his body the best he could as he put his head back on the pillow while never losing the eye contact.

deciding against his plan, he retrieved his hand as he wiped the lube off on the mattress. hoseok looked confused as hyunwoo threw his legs over his shoulder, lifted his hips in the air a bit and placed a pillow under it. bending the fragile body a bit, he leaned down and cupped each of the butt cheeks, spreading them.

he first placed a kiss over the entrance, before circling the tip of his tongue around it. a sharp gasped echoed in the room, followed by the body that tensed but immediately relaxed right after.

slowly, he started pushing his tongue inside, going further and further with each movement and loosening up the younger’s body a bit.

hoseok’s thighs were shaking uncontrollably, closing on their own the times he let his tongue go all the way in and spreading a second later again. hyunwoo kept his eyes on the deeply blushed and blissed-out face as he kept on rimming him the best he could. there was little to no sound coming from the younger but the expression and the way his chest rose and fell rapidly said it all. they only needed time for this to improve as well.

hoseok’s eyes were closed, head thrown back, lips parted widely as he sometimes forgot to breathe and other times inhaled and exhaled roughly. the beautiful erection started twitching in front of his eyes again, telling him the younger was close but too far gone to warn him like he’d done the previous time. leaning back, he sat up on his knees after putting the legs on the mattress, spread, and lubed up his fingers once again. hoseok wasn’t still back on earth, twitching and not really ware.

he used this and started entering his middle finger inside the tight heat ever so slowly. the body tensed slightly but let go again. he was all the way in when the younger lied still and relaxed completely. both of his arms moving to be placed above his head, his wrists against each other as if he was cuffed and told to keep them there. this made him feel bitter but he didn’t say anything, they’d talk about it later.

curling his finger, he searched for the bundle of nerves and soon found it. hoseok’s body jerked and his eyes widened in surprise as he moaned loudly, sound echoing off the walls.

“ did that feel good? “ hyunwoo asked and rubbed over the spot with applied pressure again. another desperate moan followed as the blonde nodded repeatedly, keeping his hands where they were above his head perfectly still.

carefully, he added another finger, repeating the whole process and taking his breath away from the sight. his own erection begging him to give him some attention and preferably slide inside that fucking hot body already. but he ignored his own needs, wanting to loosen hoseok up as well as he could because his size was no joke and the boy had been hurt before many times. plus, he hadn’t had anyone inside for a long time now.

four fingers in, scissoring and stretching him, he decided that it was finally time. his boyfriend was already so gone but he was lying there without any word or objection, basking in the insane amount of pressure and moaning as loud as he could at them.

hyunwoo was fast as he lubed up, threw those slim thighs over his shoulders again and positioned himself at the younger’s entrance.

hoseok’s eyes were on him. chest rising and falling and teeth settled on the bottom lip bruising.

“ you ready? “

he waited. hyunwoo waited for a couple of minutes, maybe more, for the answer. finally, he received a silent nod as the blonde’s hands curled into fists where they were still. he hated it, so he reached out and intertwined their fingers and moving them a bit downward, letting them rest on the mattress at each side of hoseok’s head.

“ i love you “ he whispered into the boy’s ear right before he started pushing himself in as slow as possible.

the younger’s body tensed and his finger’s tightened around his until he forced himself to relax again.

he moved further and further inside ever so slowly, feeling the heat surrounding him and squeezing the hell out of him. his lover was burning inside. the boy finally released the breath he had been holding in once he was fully inside, their skin of his groin touching the plump ass.

hoseok’s body started shaking intently all of a sudden, tears gathering in his eyes and fingers almost breaking his bones with how tightly they held onto him.

“ i’m scared. “

hyunwoo’s heart broke into a million more pieces. leaning down, he captured the bruised red lips in a tender kiss.

“ did it hurt when my fingers were inside you? “ he asked quietly against the younger’s lips. he shook his head in reply.

“ what about my tongue? “ another shake of head.

“ i promise this won’t hurt either. do you trust me? “ he asked as he kissed him again. when he leaned back a bit again, he received a nod.

hoseok was utterly vulnerable at that moment. eyes glistening and unfocused, lips parted slightly, and eyebrows upward in fear and nervousness. his pulse on his neck showed just how fast his heart was beating.

he started kissing him again as he moved out slowly to the tip and back inside until he was buried deep. his thumbs caressing over the smooth skin of the pale hands nonstop. the blonde arched his back and stopped kissing as a deep moan passed through his mouth into hyunwoo’s. it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard apart from the latter’s hoarse voice right after waking up.

he picked up pace steadily, careful and wary of any signs of pain on that perfect face. there was never any.

sound of skin hitting skin echoed in the room, mixed with both of their moans as their lips never detached for long.

every time he hit the sensitive spot inside the tight heat, hoseok would gift him with the pretties sounds and the most gorgeous body movements. he’d bite hyunwoo’s bottom lip subconsciously, he’d freeze for just a second and afterward suck roughly on hyunwoo’s tongue in return all the while never stopping the moans.

he witnessed it all as his boyfriend went closer and closer to the edge. his breathing becoming even more uneven, erection twitching nonstop between their bodies and pre-cum soaking their stomachs. fingers intertwining tighter with him and lips parting wider, not really kissing back anymore as he wasn’t aware, only drowning in the pleasure he was feeling with his eyes closed.

and then he stopped breathing altogether, holding it inside as his eyes opened but his pupils had rolled back. his back arched so deep that even his head got lifted up from the pillow as he came, body trembling in his hold and mouth calling him in repetition. hyunwoo wrapped his fingers around the younger’s erection, stroking him through his orgasm.

the unbelievable sight in front of his eyes, made him fall over the edge as well, releasing himself inside hoseok’s body as he buried himself deep for one last time. he groaned into the younger’s crook of neck when he came, his scent dizzying him a bit. his fingers stopped stroking and he stopped moving when he was calm enough.

lifting his body up as he straightened the arm that had been bent on the elbow until then, he looked down into his baby’s eyes.

“ are you okay? “ he asked softly, brushing through the silky damp hair from all the sweat. his own skin and hair were soaked as well.

he didn’t reply in words, only nodded again.

“ i’m gonna pull out now. it’s gonna sting a bit. “

he didn’t receive the hiss he usually would when he pulled out of the people he had slept with. the younger was keeping quiet like his old days again.

“ i’m sorry i came inside you. you distracted me completely with how even more beautiful you were when you came. “

again, he didn’t get any response even when he pecked those wet lips.

“ let me get the towel to clean us up. we’ll shower in a bit when we’ve rested a bit. “

hyunwoo got the abandoned towel from the floor and cleaned hoseok’s and his stomaches first. then he got into cleaning the younger from his release, all the while the blonde didn’t move an inch and only looked.

he only turned around to throw the towel on the floor again but when he turned back, the pale face was soaking with tears.

“ hey hey “ he panicked. had he hurt him? he sure didn’t get the impression of hurt apart from when he licked over his nipple at the start.

“ what’s wrong baby? why are you crying? “ he wrapped his arms around the fragile boy and pulled him flush against himself. his hand cupped the soft cheek and made him look up at him, both lying on their sides.

“ why did they do it like that? “ hoseok was crying the hardest he had ever seen him do. “ why did they have to hurt me so bad if they could also make it feel good like this? “ there was so much desperation in those uneven eyes, his own became teary as well.

“ they were sick people, disgusting sick people. “

“ it hurt- “ hoseok got interrupted by his own loud sobs. “ it hurt so bad hyunwoo. if they did things the way you do, maybe i would’ve enjoyed it too. why didn’t they do it like you do? you made me feel so good. “ wrapping his arms tightly around hyunwoo, the younger buried his head in his chest as he cried his heart out.

there was nothing he could do. nothing apart from holding the trembling figure of the vulnerable boy in his arms, stroking over his hair and humming soothing words into his ears. there was nothing he could do to change the past but he could always make sure to build a good and calm present and future for him. he deserved it, he deserved it all and more. and maybe, hopefully, in time he would learn to love himself and know just how much he was worth.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed reading this story.  
comments and kudos are always welcome.  
i have many other stories so do check them out some time ^^  
byebye~


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